Archive for January, 2006

Day 23 – Record the next generation of canned laughter

January 31, 2006

I recorded a bit of my laughter with a mini tape recorder…but I wasn’t ACUTALLY laughing, so it just came out sounding dumb. So in order to torture myself, I downloaded a 2 second canned laughter clip, and put it on repeat for about 30 minutes. It was really irritating. download it yourself and try it out. I’m actually listening to it while I type this. ( Laugh.wav As you can see, I attempted to put the file on here, but I don’t really know what I’m doing…Eli? show me how to fix it, bra.

I also learned a bit about the history of canned laughter.

Canned laughter was developed to assuage the deep sense of loneliness people felt sitting at home alone listening to noises come out of furniture. Sharp-eared radio producers hired claques of audience plants to laugh and applaud lustily, the better to comfort the anxious soul listening in his sterile rented room, decaying homestead, or dust-caked farmhouse. Society was actively bound together by that unanimous chorus of chortles and giggles. The rise of TV in the ’50s, set against the background of Cold War anxiety, created an even more pressing need for a reliable laugh engine. (you can find out more at the webpage with the worst layout ever… ).

I’ve got to turn this laughter off…or I’ll kill myself.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 61


Day 22 – Single out one of your toes for special treatment.

January 30, 2006

I decided on the middle toe on my left foot, ’cause what have I ever done for that toe? So, in giving it special treatment, I basically treated all my other toes like crap. When I woke up, I kissed my toe and told it that it was my favorite one. Then I put a little cookie monster finger puppet on it to keep it warm. I didn’t wear socks today so that my other toes would feel cold and miserable, while “cookie” would be warm and comfortable. I also put some of Ingrid’s special foot moisturizer on it. I think “cookie” had a pretty good day.

Cookie Monster Toe

Points earned: 3
Total points: 58

Day 21 – Invent your own traffic rule

January 29, 2006

one way ticket

Points earned: 3
Total points: 55

Day 20 – Feast day

January 28, 2006

So, I had to work for 12 hours today. I use the word “work” loosely because today I got payed to learn how to ski (I can turn without falling over!) and then hang out with kids, play video games, and watch movie. Oh, and they feed me.

My feast went a little something like this photo.


After we went skiing, we went over to a friend of the family’s house for play time and dinner. I had met the kids (Hannah and Donavan…I don’t know how to spell that name) before, but this was my first time at their house. We had spaghetti, garlic bread, and salad. Since this was my first and only real meal of the day, I was hungry. And since it was feast day, I basically had seconds, and thirds, and fourths, and continued to eat until there was nothing left. Then I had two slices of cake. So, although I didn’t lounge about and feast the entire day, I did make a pig of myself. And now I’m going to make a whole bunch of popcorn and watch a movie.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 52

Day 19 – Test the power of prayer

January 27, 2006

I don’t believe in god. And as far back as I can remember, I never prayed. Not seriously anyway. I mean, we said one at dinner time when I was younger (We thank the lord for happy hearts/for rain (or in the winter; snow) and sunny weather/we thank the lord for this our food/and that we are together/amen/squeeze), but that was just said in order to get the food in my belly.

That being said, I tried two kinds of prayer today. The first prayers were for things that I was already doing. I, you know, asked “god” to help me make a great pizza for lunch (success!). Nick had a great little “magic 8-ball” device that was in the shape of Kit Fisto and said things like “use the force” and “it will be so.” He told me that I needed to “use the force” if I wanted to keep Chellie (Nick’s dog) from slobbering on me.


I also tried to do some serious prayer for things that had not happened yet. But the only way I could find out if the prayer had actually worked was to ask for something that would happen today. So I asked for two things: to be able to download that newest episode of “Lost” that I missed on Wednesday & that Ingrid would bring me a treat from work.

As far as downloading the “Lost” episode goes, I tried just sitting in front of the computer and hoping that it would download itself, but I eventually had to open Acquisition and make it happen. It is currently downloading, but I’m skeptical that it will finished before midnight.

Usually Ingrid brings me home some little treat from her job at the Wedge (the largest co-op in the country as far as sales go). Unfortunately, I got no such thing tonight.

So all in all, prayer doesn’t really do anything unless YOU make it happen. I don’t think I’ll be praying anymore, but it was a fun experiment.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 49

Day 18 – Free someone today

January 26, 2006

I tried to free Leonard Peltier, but I don’t think I accomplished it today. I did go to and signed the petition…again.

I really wanted to find some freedom fighter that was stuck behind bars. That way, assuming that I could somehow get powers like Superman, I could just bust through the wall and free them.

supes crash

But I wasn’t able to do that. I did go to the ELF webpage to try and do my part, but I couldn’t find anything that I could do today. Oh well.

I wanted to give an extra special shout out to Joe, who it appears has really flung himself head first into this thing. Congrats, dude.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 46

Day 17 – Eat an entire meal while standing on your head

January 25, 2006

This one was REALLY hard. I made my first attempt at breakfast with a bowl of granola. I made a mess, and eventually gave up. The second attempt came at lunch with a bowl of rice noodle soup. I apparently wasn’t thinking when I made my lunch, because this was actually HARDER than the bowl of granola. It also hurts to do a headstand. Even with a pillow underneath it was still pretty painful and hard to balance. So I eventually ate a carrot and decided that I’d tried and failed.

This hurt

Points earned: 2
Total points: 44

Day 16 – Test a proverb

January 24, 2006

I tested 3 proverbs today. First, I tried out “the grass is always greener on the other side.” I tried it on two fences. The first one was in my own yard, and as you can see from first the photo, the grass was actually greener on MY side. On the other fence, there was no grass to be seen. All in all, I’d say that this proverb couldn’t stand up to the test.

fence again

I next tried “Look before you leap.” I closed my eyes, turned around in circles, and leapt forward. Luckily I didn’t hit anything…but I was close to landing on the coffee table.

Last but not least, I got some snack cakes to try out the “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” As you can see from the photo, I was unable to eat it.

snack nick

Nick thought they were “OK.”

Points earned: 3
Total points: 42

Day 15 – Dump your partner for the day

January 23, 2006

Well, I woke up this morning, got out of bed, and told Ingrid that I was sick of her shit, and that we were through. “…and you can keep the collector’s plates!” And just shy of six years, too. I have not talked to her since (except to tell her that I hate her and that she ruined my life…what a floozy).

I tried to do as many “break up” things as I could think of. I went to the gym to work out…you know, ’cause I’m starting over. I talked with Monica (she’s my other roommate, for those of you who don’t know) about how much Ingrid hurt me. And we’ve been communicating through Monica (“Monica, would you please tell Ingrid to keep her shit outta my room!”).

I listened only to break up records today: Alkaline Trio – s/t, Green Day – 1039 Smooth, The Weakerthans – Left and Leaving, etc…

I put up a little blurb on myspace telling everyone that I broke up with Ingrid and if anyone wanted to get with me, this was their chance….I got several responses, but EVERYONE lived “too far away.” Bummer.

I have not done it yet, but I plan on sleeping on the couch tonight. I think that would be the perfect way to end the break up day.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 39

Day 14 – Family day.

January 22, 2006

01.22.06 – Day 14 – Family Day. Celebrate your nearest and dearest by never leaving their side.

My family lives many many miles away. I guess I fail, huh? Not a very interesting entry….I promise to make the next one better.

Points earned: 1
Total points: 36