Day 55 – Gatecrash a funeral

I was awakened fairly early this morning by my downstairs neighbor singing scales with piano accompaniment at a very loud volume. It kind of made me mad, but I figured that these funerals weren’t going to gatecrash themselves, so I hopped out of bed, got dressed up in black, and hit the road.

I went to a funeral home in Minneapolis near my house, but it was locked up tight. I went to the yard sale across the street, but the only thing that caught my eye was a pair of cowboy boots for $2. I would have gotten them if they weren’t three sizes too big.

I knew of two other funeral homes in St. Paul that I had visited as part of a Macalester class on death. We were able to see how and where they do cremations and embalming. The class was pretty bad except for those to field trips.

When I arrived at the first one (on Snelling ave) the door was open, so I went right in. However there was no funeral. Instantly someone came up to me and asked if they could help me. I told them about this project and wondered if I could sit in on the next funeral. They gave me a disgusted look and basically told me to leave and not come back.

When I arrived at Willwerscheid’s Funeral Home & Cremation I decided to use a different tactic. I walked in and started looking around. No one came up to ask me anything. There was no funeral, but as I walked into one of the rooms I saw a dead body. Someone’s grandmother was just laying there. I walked over and took a look. I always hated how fake people looked after they’ve been embalmed and covered in make up. I never want to be done up like that.

All of a sudden I was startled by a very attractice woman, who I later learned was named Kelly, who worked there. “Can I help you?” I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I made last time. “Well, my grandmother is ‘close’, and I was wondering if I could sit in the back of a funeral and see how things are done here.” Pretty smooth I thought, and not that much of a lie. She said that I surely could, but that I had just missed the one and only funeral of the day. She tried to help me set up a time early next week, but I told her that I “just couldn’t do ‘this’ right now,” and got out of there.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 143

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