Archive for April, 2006

Day 111 – Tip Abnormally

April 30, 2006

Really quickly ’cause it’s late and I’m tired. I got a beer (for Nathan Cohen) and a Pepsi (for me). I tipped $0.01 for the beer and $3 for the soda.

I also gave people abnormal tips (advice) at a party. My favorite of which was, “Don’t EVER eat oysters.” “Why not?” “Because they’re from outerspace.”

Points earned: 3
Total points: 393

Day 110 – Insist on speaking to the media today

April 27, 2006

Well, well, well. This one just sort of fell in my lap. You see my friend Joelle, who went to Macalester, sent me a message on myspace. And everytime I talk to anyone, I tell them about this webpage. As it turns out, she works for the Concord Monitor. Apparently, the Arts page needed some more material (and they must be scraping the bottom of the barrel if they’ve stooped to my level…I mean, I can’t even spell). So here I am talking to 25,000 potential readers.

Not that all of my days aren’t golden, but here are a few of my favorites. Check ’em out.

Day 99 – Visit someone in the hosipital
Day 94 – Commit all seven sins
Day 90 – Spark off a huge traffic jam
Day 88 – Infect someone
Day 79 – Apply for a job you have no chance of getting
Day 78 – Make a baby
Day 57 – Patrol a bridge against suicide
Day 55 – Gatecrash a funeral
Day 53 – Answer spam e-mail
Day 49 – Get rained on
Day 36 – Threaten a foreign country
Day 15 – Dump your partner for the day
Day 13 – Ask KFC for their 11 secret herbs and spices
Day 10 – Boycott something that’s never been boycotted before
Day 09 – Buy a stranger flowers

Go back and read those. It will give you a good idea of what I’ve been up to. Plus, you’ll enjoy them. Feel free to poke around on the rest of my site as well.

Now that I have your attention, I will rant for a while.

Seriously, guys, check out some of these websites about the 911 truth “conspiracy.” They’re no joke.

Physics 911

911 Blogger

Let’s Roll

Or go watch Loose Change here for free.

Don’t forget to check out my friend’s blogs on the right-hand side under the heading: Blog Roll

Points earned: 3
Total points: 390

Day 109 – Spaz Out

April 27, 2006

I work with two autistic children. Gabe (and to a lesser extent, Nick) spazes out fairly regularly. Not in a bad way, just when he’s having fun. So today, while on the trampoline, I told them that I was going to spaz out for about five minutes. I told them not to freak out, but that I was going to. They prepared themselves and so did I. Then I went ballistic. I was jumping all over the place, tackling them, picking them up and throwing them, and just basically going crazy. When the dust settled, I was out of breath and my hair was all caddywompus. When I sat down and thought about it, I used to spaz out fairly regularly when I was younger….not always in a good way, but not always in a bad way either. Maybe that’s just something you don’t do much as you get older/fatter/dumber. I should do that more often.

As an aside, I also realized something today. I had the absolute worst physics teacher in high school. Which is too bad, because today I realized that I really like psychics. The teacher I had made me dislike physics so much that I actually stopped taking science classes altogether. So I’m sure that one day Charles Emmert will google his name and find this page. He’ll cry himself to sleep and I will have had my revenge. What this really boils down to is that I might take a physics class…or audit one anyway.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 387

Day 108 – Act Suspiciously

April 26, 2006

While walking around today I would continuously cross to the other side of the road if I made eye contact with anyone. Also while driving, I would quickly turn down the first street I came across if I saw a police officer. Unfortunately, no one seemed to notice that I was acting suspiciously. I also attempted to quickly turn away from people and say, “nothing…nothing….” as often as possible. The only person who caught on to this was Nick who said, “Why are you acting so weird?”

Points earned: 3
Total points: 384

Day 107 – Stalk an animal

April 25, 2006

First off, totally unrelated to this activity, I had to get a new title for the X-1 (my old car) because I’m selling it. I went to the DMV and sat around for-EVER. Anyway, you needed to get a numbered ticket and when they call out the next number you got to go wait in another line. I pulled my ticket out of the little machine and it said “46.” They were on “14.” So I sat down next to an older woman who was asleep. I could see that her number was “19.” I attempted to pull off that trick from Beetlejuice when he steals the number from the headhunter who then shrinks his head, but I thought better of it….although I think I coulda pulled it off.

I stalked a total of three animals:

1) a bird was walking across the street and I started slowly following it. It hopped a long for a few steps then, after it realized that I was following it, took off and flew over the building. I ran to the other side hoping to catch a glimpse of it, but I failed.

2) Chellie (the dog that belongs to Nick and Gabe) is a canine companion, which means that he’s really smart. He can turn on and off lights, pick up drop items, and basically follow any command you can think of. I tried to follow him around, but he’s trained to stick to your side like glue, so it was pretty tough. I gave up after awhile.

3) I followed a squirrel around for a good five minutes. He would try to out-smart me by running up a tree. I’d just go around the corner until he climbed down and then followed him again. This went on until he finally figured out what was going on and took off across the street, right through traffic. I couldn’t follow him anymore ’cause cars were zooming back and forth. I’m glad he didn’t get hit by a car, because I would have felt pretty awful.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 381

Check out these great comic strips.

Day 106 – Today Commit Treason

April 24, 2006

Here’s a photo of the Cheese Weed tattoo that I promised (photo by David Maki). You can click on it to see a bigger picture of my ugly mug.

newtattoo

So, treason, huh? I think that REAL treason is pretty tough to do. But if you think about it like the Republicans do, it’s fairly easy. I mean, I don’t like the president and I think that the government planned 911. They should throw me in Guantanamo for that, right?

Wikipedia says that treason is when one “reneges on an oath of loyalty and in some way willfully cooperates with an enemy.” Oran’s Dictionary of the Law (1983) defines treason as: “…[a]…citizen’s actions to help a foreign government overthrow, make war against, or seriously injure the [parent nation].” In many nations, it is also often considered treason to attempt or conspire to overthrow the government, even if no foreign country is aided or involved by such an endeavour.

I’ve always had a plan of action to take over the government. Here goes….you see, when there’s a big natural disaster (like Katrina), FEMA steps in and takes over. FEMA can do whatever they want/need and US laws no longer apply (or so I’ve been told). So all I need to do is become the president of FEMA, and then play the waiting game. It couldn’t be easier.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 378

Day 105 – Start a relationship with another person doing this project.

April 23, 2006

I went to the book’s website to find someone to start a relationship with. I just went through the blogs and found people from all over the world (France, Australia, South Africa) and emailed them. I had no idea this was such a big deal.

I did get a response from Robert Krumm. He’s a nice guy, but it appears as if he’s not as gun-hoe as I am about this poject. Here’s what he had to say.
______________

I don’t follow the book… weird. I should alter that. But that does not mean I am not prepared to entertain you with my mad ramblings and be entertained by yours. Should be good.

“I live in Minneapolis, MN in the U$A.” that sentence appeals to my sense of humour. It really does. Oh yeah, what tattoo was it?

I’m in Johannesburg (Jozi) in South Africa (Mzansi).
I used to be an athlete (rowing) but have now decided (after 6 years of varsity) to stick to what I started with and actually concentrate on becoming an electrical engineer.
It’s working out well, I think.
Otherwise all here is fairly normal

I will check out your blog. check out mine on benrik the name is ‘robrobstation’
Cheers mate
Rob
______________

Everyone go check out his blog. It’s pretty good.

I tried to make friends with this woman, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with me.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 375

ps. oh yeah, I’m totally in love with Sarah Silverman
And I’m really starting to dislike Michael Moore.

Day 104 – Self Medicating Day

April 22, 2006

My stomache was a little upset today after eating some bad rice the day before, so I made some “medicine.” It consisted of water, lemon juice, honey, and…well, it was basically lemonade, but it was damn good. And it made me feel better. Mission accomplished.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 372

PS. I’ve updated the “Comics Read” section. Go check it out. I plan on making an article regarding books you should be reading, games you should be playing, and movies you should be watching. If you’ve got input…send it my way.

Day 103 – Today help destroy an ugly building

April 21, 2006

There’s a hideous building on the way to the Y that I pass every day and think to myself, “That building is fugly.” So today I gave it a little kick and a chunk fell off. I figure that if I keep that up it should be gone in no time at all.

Here’s a joke that Nick made up today
Q: What’s the difference between Dick Cheney and a hunter?
A: What they shoot.
He’s well on his way to a Comedy Central special.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 369

Day 102 – Radical Spring Cleaning Day

April 20, 2006

I woke up this morning and happened to look in the crack between the bed and the wall and noticed that it was full of pubes and dust and filth, & I intended to clean it today as part of my radical spring cleaning, but I didn’t. I also thought about watching TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to the layperson) while cleaning and saying radical and toobular and such, but I didn’t. I was just too damn busy today.

I did however, kick some ass on “Brain Age.” B.A. is this amazingly great game for Nintendo DS. Check it out.

Wow. Check this out.

Points earned: 1
Total points: 366