Archive for April, 2006

Day 101 – Hyperactivity Day

April 19, 2006

Woah. I woke up and started kickin’ ass and didn’t let up until now. I basically ran around all day doing errands for myself and for the Boldons and then when I was at work I took Nick to Karate, then to the Library, made dinner, wrestled with both boys for about 1/2 an hour. It seemed like a lot to me, but when I look at it written down, it doesn’t seem so crazy.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 365

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Day 100 – Become a hermit

April 18, 2006

Wow. 100 days.

Being a hermit was tougher than I thought. I had to kind to close myself in my room for the day. I really wanted to go outside and enjoy the nice weather, but instead I just read books and tried to have as little contact with the outside world as possible. I tried to move to a remote cabin in Montana which would give me both refuge from what I viewed as a society corrupted by technology and privacy to build mailbombs, but I couldn’t find any for sale on craigslist.

Here‘s an interesting link about a hermit. I dig the music. It adds a certain something that I can’t quite put my finger one.

Here’s a nice wholesome game to help you celebrate my 100th day.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 362

Day 99 – Visit someone in a hospital

April 17, 2006

I gathered up a pile of old comic books and headed to the Children’s Hostpital, ’cause kids love comic, right? I went to the front desk and asked who I could go visit, but because of policy and blah blah blah I couldn’t go into anyone’s room. However, the woman behind the desk told me that I could go talk to someone in the emergency waiting room. So I did. And that’s where I met Antuan.

“Hey, what’s your name?”
“Antuan.”
“What happened to your leg, man?”
“Oh, I fell at school in the playground and now I have to get stitches.”
“That’s tough. Where do you go to school?”
“Over there at (I forget the school).”
“Do you like comics?”
“Yeah.”
“Enjoy.”
“Wow! Thanks!”
“No problem. See you ’round Antuan.”
“See ya!”

As I walked away I heard his mom say, “That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” I definately don’t think it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, but it made us all happy.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 359

Check out these two articles. Numba 1 & numba 2

Day 98 – Exorcism Day

April 16, 2006

First off, it’s important to hear a little ’bout my megabus ride back to Minneapolis (not to be confused with megashit which I do not recommend looking at). Not including myself there was a total of one (1) other passenger…a 60+ Russian woman named Sasha. She was hilarious. And her husband found the fact that the bus was going to drive a total of two passengers to be, by far, the funniest thing he’d ever experience in his multi-decade life. He couldn’t stop laughing.

When we got on the bus, Sasha invited hubby on board to see the TVs and laugh at how big the bus was. She was really excited to watch a movie, and the only one on board was House Party 3, which had WAY more swearing than I would have anticipated….and according to the movie box was “The best house party yet”. About half way through, she asked if we could turn it off because she had “finished with this.” Then we went to sleep.

I had an amazing time in Chicago with all of you (Matt, Teresa, 11, Sean, Ryan, David, Mandy, Abbey, Jess (is that right?), Taavo, Bratwurs’, & all of you new “365 Days of N8” readers. Seriously. Thanks.

On to the lecture at hand….Exorcism Day. While looking up how to do an exorcism, I found many questions that needed to be answered. Namely:

1) Who has the authority to perform an exorcism?

2) Who is Satan?

3) Was Satan in charge of music in Heaven??

& 4) Does Satan have the power to control the weather?

Then I remembered that I don’t know anyone who needs an exorcism. I tried to possess myself by listening to Deicide and asking Satan to hop on in, but he obviously wasn’t listening. So, I instead just took a 1973 ‘Regan’ style photo. This was the 5th take, and I ended up spitting dahl all over the floor at one point. Enjoy.

puke

Points earned: 3
Total points: 356

Day 97 – Give back what you have borrowed

April 16, 2006

Another very easy one. I mean, I had been staying at someone else’s house for three days, so I borrowed all kinds of things including a bed/couch….which I gave back. More to come on the Chicago trip in the next day’s update.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 353

Day 96 – Fast, and force as many people as possible to fast as well

April 15, 2006

I woke up this morning already hungry…which is totally crazy because last night a) I ate myself into a stupor at Abbey’s and b) I even ate a late snack just before midnight to make sure that I wasn’t hungry when I woke up. 

I looked up ‘fasting’ on wikipedia and it said that abstaining from sexual intercourse and masturbation is another form of fasting. I’ve done that one no problem. 

Sean and Matt and I went on a vision quest to try and find my spirit animal.  I did see a bunch of ants, a polar bear statue, and a few dogs.  But none of them talked to me.  So I tried to have a hallucination while walking down Division.  I closed my eyes and thought about animals while Matt and Sean directed me away from passersby.  I saw a bird that chirped at me.  So I figured that my vision quest was complete. Here’s a photo of one of my many potential spirit animals.

bear

As far as forcing my fasting on others, Matt ate only a grapefruit out of pity.  I think Sean ate very little, but still didn’t technically fast.   

I waited until the sun went down, then I ended my fast…Ramadan style.  Eatting homemade sushi with the gang (Matt, Teresa, Sean, Ryan, Taavo, David, Mandie, and Kat) felt freakin’ great.  Then during a game of Truth or Dare, Sean put my baloney wrapped wiener in his mouth. 

 Points earned: 3

Total points: 352

Day 95 – Today claim to have been abducted by aliens

April 13, 2006

I arrived in Chicago using megabus (which was a story in and of itself). Matt and Sean and I went for a walk down by the lake and I told several people that I was abducted by aliens. Most people just kind of turned and walked away. I attempted to get someone to let me use their cell phone to call the police and report my abduction, but to no avail. When we asked one man for help he said, “I am so sorry but I do not speak very much English.”
He clearly spoke English.

Tonight I went to an AWESOME seder meal at Abbey’s house. The food was amazing and I had a blast hanging out with old friends and meeting new people. Thank you all.

Points earned: 3

Total points: 349

Day 94 – Commit all seven sins

April 12, 2006

I’m going to hell, I guess.

1) Lust – Ogled a good lookin’ gal at the gym.

2) Envy – Wished that I was the one dating said girl instead of the goomba she was with.

3) Greed – Bought too many comic books at the shop.

4) Anger – Got pissed off at the US government and the 911 conspiracy while listening to NPR about John Walker Lynd.

5) Sloth – Sat around and played NES for a good hour even though it was a beautiful day outside.

6) Gluttony – Ate a whole bag of chocolate covered pretzels & didn’t save a single one for anyone else.

7) Pride – Contemplated, yet again, the idea of getting “I’m fuckin’ awesome” tattooed on the inside of my lip.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 346

Day 93 – Imaginary friend day

April 11, 2006

When I got to work at the Boldon’s I introduced Gabe to my imaginary friend, Falafel. Gabe asked if he could give Falafel a welcome hug. After a nice hug, the three of us jumped on the trampoline. We set an extra place at the dinner table for him. Gabe started to put some food on his plate, but I reminded him that imaginary friends eat imaginary food. The rest of the day was spent reinacting as many seens from Drop Dead Fred as I could remember. “Dishes. Relationships. Wind. This guy breaks everything”….that’s the actual tag line of that movie.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 343

Day 92 – Today recover your earliest best friend

April 10, 2006

I attempted to track down my earliest “friend”, Robbie Stoeckle, to no avail. I put “friend” in quotes, because I vaugely remember him holding me down and farting on my face. This was pre-kindergarten.

Next I looked up Andy Kraeling. I know that I’m not spelling his name right. I tried every variation I could think of, but again…no avail. I was looking these people up on friendster, myspace, whitepages.com, google searches…nothing.

But while poking around on myspace I did run into Dustin Carter and Kyle Kellum. These were too good pals from 5th-8th grade when I lived near Cincinnati Ohio. I believe that the three of us got into a lot of trouble when we threw a BB at a passing car, cracking the windshield. Good to see you guys.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 340