Archive for July, 2006

Day 204 – Take part in the great circle of life

July 31, 2006

I did two things to take par tin the great circle of life. I ate some fruit, took the pit, and threw it into a park…hopefully it will grow into a tree. I also at some veggies from my garden. It was 102 degrees today. God damn you, Al Gore.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 517

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Day 203 – Become an internet minister

July 31, 2006

I went to the Universal Church of Life and became a minister. It was that easy. If you wanna get married, just talk to me.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 514

ps. it was 100+ degrees today….same tomorrow. Boo.

Day 202 – Today mislead a tourist

July 29, 2006

It was 100 degrees today, I got a flat tire on my bike and my car. I didn’t mislead a tourist.

Points earned: 1
Total points: 511

Day 201 – Dumbing down day

July 28, 2006

I did a few things today to make me stupider.

1) I actually read Ann Coulter’s “Treason” for a good twenty minutes while at the Library with Gabe. I wanted to throw up.

2) I let Gabe hit me in the head ten times. That had to kill off some brain cells, ’cause it hurt.

3) I listened ot top 40 radio. Buh-arf

4) I didn’t eat any “brain food”…you know, like fish.

5) I tried to use as much non-verbal communication as possible and I even answered a lot of quesitons with grunts.

I’m sure my I.Q. went down by at least 30 points.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 510

Day 200 – Attempt to be noticed from space

July 27, 2006

Gabe and I made signs that said to welcome outer space visitors…Gabe’s said, “Welcome Aliens”, and mine said, “Vote GWAR for President.” As far as I know we weren’t NOT seen from space. It was fun, but not all that eventful. Sorry.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 507

Day 199 – Dark side of the rainbow

July 26, 2006

I think it’s important to note that I did not do this one while high, which I believe is the preferred method of doing this because it’s the only way I can think of that anyone could stomach Pink Floyd’s terrible music. I’ve always hated Pink Floyd, and this only solidified and legitimized my hatred. Here’s a Neil Hamburger joke that really sums it up:

Q: Why did al-Qaeda burn thousands of copies of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon?
A: Because it’s a terrible album.

Anyway, I’m sure most of you have heard about the whole Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon thing. If not, click here. I could not find a single friend that owned DSotM, which is good for people I know. But that also meant that I had to go to Cheapo and buy a used copy….which I will be returning tomorrow.

The whole experience was pretty fun, and several things matched up pretty well. I’m glad I did it. Around the time that this WoO/DSotM thing started to get popular I was in a band called Fallopian Vultures. We were totally awesome. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who saw our live shows. Anyway, we had just finished our masterpiece, a 20+ minute opus called Venture. We thought that there had to be a movie out there that would match up with our jam….and we found it. Turner & Hooch. If you don’t believe me, try it out. You just have to press play when Hooch barks for the third time. It was just as amazing (if not more so) than the Pink Floyd bullshit.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 504

Day 198 – Do everything in slow motion

July 25, 2006

I started the day off right by not waking up until around noon. Then I basically tried to do things slowly. I drove under the speed limit by at least 5mph at all times and pissed some people off. Gabe thought that all the slow motion talking was funny and he started doing it as well. Other than that it was pretty uneventful.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 501

Day 197 – Speedread a masterpiece

July 24, 2006

I attempted to speedread War and Peace…god damn it was hard to take it all in. Here’s what I could put together:

It is a historical novel that that discusses the intense events in Russia during the Napoleonic war in the 19th century, with an emphasis on the aristocratic way of life. There are the Bolkonsky, Bezuhov, and the Kuragin Families. We even get Napoleon and Alexander I.

I think that’s pretty good for a three minute reading of the book.

Then I made zuchini bread, and played Settlers of Catan with Ingrid, Dan, and Greg.

settlers

Booyah.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 498

Day 196 – Today stare into other people’s homes

July 23, 2006

I stared into people’s homes all damn day and I didn’t see shit. It was really disappointing. I went for a walk and looked in as many window as I could. I mostly saw people just sitting around. I even waited until dark and looked in my neighbor’s windows….nothing. What a waste.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 495

Day 195 – Hands free day

July 22, 2006

This was a hard one. Mainly because Ingrid has some carpal-tunnel-esque problem with her wrist, so I had to do a bunch of stuff for her today. But I did ride my bike into St. Paul and I rode no handed the whole way. That’s gotta count for something, right? I also had some awesome octopus tacos at La Sirena Gorda…that doesn’t count for anything, but they were damn good though.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 492