Archive for October, 2006

Day 296 – Make your heart beat faster

October 31, 2006

Today was Halloween. I told Nick and Gabe that I needed my heart to beat faster so they had to scare me. They did a lousy job. Why is it that kids are so good at getting scared, but so terrible at scaring other people? So instead I did a bunch of push ups. I’ve decided to do 100 push ups a day for as long as I can. We’ll see how long that lasts, huh?

Points earned: 3
Total points: 738

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Day 295 – Write a poem that begins with “Mercy, cried the popinjay to the pope”

October 30, 2006

Mercy, cried the popinjay to the pope
Can you believe how awesome GWAR is?
I know, said the pope. I can’t wait
until Oderus brings ME out on the stage
and chops off my head. By the way,
said the pope, how did you get in this club?
Well, said the popinjay, even if you’re not
21+ you can slip the doorman a five and
they’ll usually let you in. Sweet, said the pope.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 735

Day 294 – Sidewalk chalk day

October 29, 2006

If only this day happened on a day when I was working with Gabe. That kid loves sidewalk chalk. We would draw HUGE rollercoasters and then pretend to ride them, or draw long race tracks with multiple choices for turns (some of which ended at the finish line while others ended in a shark’s mouth or in poisonous plants). But I don’t have any sidewalk chalk. And frankly, I didn’t try very hard to get any. Instead, I went for a LONG bike ride and saw the new Christopher Nolan movie, The Prestige, which I quite enjoyed.

Points earned: 1
Total points: 732

Day 293 – Trick your mortal enemy into touching something poisoned

October 28, 2006

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. I don’t have a mortal enemy. It’s too bad, ’cause that could be kinda fun. So, instead, I took an empty Reed’s Ginger Beer bottle (sXe), rubbed it on my bare ass, and then got a lot of people to touch it. I went to a dance party at Chris and Hanna’s and got about a dozen people to touch it. That was easy. I told about half of them afterwords.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 731

Day 292 – Make your boss notice you today

October 27, 2006

Again, this is another one for someone who works in a shitty office, which I’m so glad I don’t have to do. However, I made my boss notice me by teaching her youngest child to ride a bike. Gabe rode three miles with me along the Mississippi river with out training wheels. I was really proud of him, and when we finished out ride, I lifted him up on my shoulder and we ran around screaming, “I’m number one!” Then Gabe said, “Thank you for teaching me to ride a bike, my old friend.” No problem, Gabe.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 729

Day 291 – Divine the will of your ancestors (entrail reading day)

October 27, 2006

First I did some research. First off, I couldn’t beleive that entrail reading is called Splatiomancy. Like, Splat? Weird.

I figured that the Boldon’s would be eating some sort of meat….a whole chicken, a hunk of red meat….something like that that I could read the entrails of…however, we had take out Thai food. It was good, but no entrails to be found. I even looked at the menu to see if they served tripe.

On the way hom eI drove around looking for some sort of road kill animal that I could read the entrails of, but the street cleaners have been out this week and I couldn’t find anything. Damnit.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 726

Day 290 – Whistle an annoying song all day

October 25, 2006

I whistled a total of three ditties today:

1) That song that the Dink Dinks whistle in Spaceballs
2) A kick ass part of a A Life Once Lost song that sounds really annoying if whistled
3) After I got back from pleaseeasaur I whistled No Prob Limo until I was blue in the face.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 724

Day 289 – Add Von to your surname

October 24, 2006

I didn’t really have many times to call myself Nate Von Duke, but I did sign a credit card statement that way. I also made Gabe call me Nate Von Duke in exchange for letting him watch a homestar runner cartoon. I thought it was a pretty even trade.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 721

Day 288 – Sabotage Hollywood

October 24, 2006

OK. This one seemed odd to me, but I did it anyway. I stood outside the dollar theater and told people walking in to see Monster House, that everyone survives, and that the house was haunted by Mr. Nevercracker’s wife. And by everyone I mean everyone who wasn’t a kid. Which was about three people. They didn’t seem to listen anyway.

Points earned: 2
Total points: 719

NEW SITE!!!

October 24, 2006

here i am folks! doesn’t it look awesome and amazing and SOO much better than the old version? i’m so glad that we went ahead with this change! oh wait… it’s exactly the same as the. what the hell? man i got jipped on this.

but seriously, my little brother eli was such a cool person to be administering my site for as long as he did, when he asked me to switch to wordpress.com, i was more than willing. so, that’s the deal. maybe at some point i might get my shit together and buy n8duke.com, but until then…

n8duke.wordpress.com