Day 285 – Eat or drink something older than yourself

Eat something that is almost 28 years old? Like my placenta? Anyway, here’s what I did. At first I had given up hope because I’m not going to drink any booze, I don’t have any idea where to get old cheese or dried mushrooms, and even though 100-year-old turtle soup sounds awesome I’m not sure where to get it. I started out by eating a piece of gum from a pack of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle trading cards from 1990. 16 yera old gum sucks. When you bite down on it it shatters into a million razor sharp shards. Then, as you chew it, it turns into a pastey chemically “gum-like” state. It tastes horrible, and then it just kind of disappears. Then I remembered that the Boldon’s had a whole stack of shitty ripped ocmic books in Gabe’s room. I looked through ’em and picked out a particularly torn one. Gold Key Publishing Tom & Jerry from November of 1978. That’s older than me! I tore off a corner and ate it. It was bland.

Points earned: 3
Total points: 712

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